I got pregnant in October, 1992. My boyfriend - now my husband - told me he would support whatever decision I made. I had never wanted children, always used birth control, and despite having been sexually active for 16 years I had never been pregnant before. I chose to have an abortion for lots of reasons, but mainly because I did not want to have a child, and I was not going to go through a pregnancy - with all of its very real physical risks - only to give the baby up for adoption.
For months afterward, I was uncomfortable with the idea of sex because I was terrified of getting pregnant again. Less than a year later, my husband got a vasectomy, and with the threat of another unintended pregnancy gone, I was finally able to relax and enjoy sex again. Fortunately for me, my husband was patient and loved me enough to work through my anxiety.
Do I regret having an abortion? No, I don't. Do I wonder what any child I might have had would have been like? Sure, it's human nature to wonder at such things. When I say to people (with children) that I don't want kids, they tell me you feel differently when they're yours. What if you don't? Isn't that a huge risk to take?
I always found it interesting that miscarriages, even very early ones, are viewed as a great tragedy, and women who undergo high-risk pregnancies - and die - are viewed as heroic. Women who have abortions, on the other hand, are seen as selfish and irresponsible. I think they are realistic. Not wanting to be a mother is not a crime. The crime would be having a child you don't want or cannot care for and neglecting or abusing them.