It's been 5 years since the abortion. What a nightmare! I had already gave birth to my 1st child, and got pregnant right after. My boyfriend said that he didn't want any more children and I agreed, however I waited before I went in for the abortion. I was 23 weeks pregnant, showing, and felt movement of the baby.
I had a range of emotions; I wanted to have the abortion, I felt horrible, I was angry, and I felt like a coward. The longer the pregnancy went on, the more I wanted to keep the baby, however the decision was made and I went to the abortion clinic.
Having an abortion at 23 weeks was horrible. The abortion was a 2-day process. They literally had to take a needle and insert it into my womb, to stop the baby's heart. I then had to go home and come back the next day to finish the process. The next day I went in to a deadly labor. It was horrible. The delivery of my first child was nowhere as horrible as that abortion. I wanted to die.
My experience was well deserved because I ended a life, a real life. It’s so hard to process the fact that I aborted a child that cold breathe, move, and exist at that time. For a very long time, I would think that there was still a child in my womb because I thought that I felt movement. Abortions are real, and not a quick fix. You have to be honest with yourself.
I ended a life and I had no right. I repented and placed these feeling on the Throne before God. I know that I am forgiven, but I will have to deal the consequences of my choice. I must forgive myself, so that I am able to move on.
How can someone miss a child they aborted? Easy, a child, whether born or unborn is and will always be a part of you. It's OK to miss them, because they miss you through the perfect love God.