I was 16 when I had the abortion. Here I was pregnant by a guy whom actually wanted me to keep the baby but didn't have nothing of his own...and I was barely out of high school…16...what would my future be like? What would my family think? How would this baby have a good life if I have nothing to offer him or her? I decided that it would be the best thing...

After the abortion my boyfriend dumped me and called me a baby killer. I felt empty. I needed him more then ever...I just remember doing nothing but sleeping. I went through depression. It was so hard to forgive myself...I wondered if GOD forgave me...Now 5 years later it is still hard to come to terms with it. I daydream of getting up and leaving that clinic.

I remember the day I was listening to Kirk Franklin and I felt GOD touch me...I got down on my knees and prayed so hard and cried so hard. Ever since then I believe he has forgiven me because he is a MERCIFUL GOD. It’s just my head sometimes that won’t let me forgive MYSELF....

I find out now that my then boyfriend lied to me about his age, he wasn't 18 at the time he was 21...which confuses me but I sometimes look back and wonder what it would be like if my daydream were real. Would I have had a boy or a girl? What would he or she look and be like: I sometimes just want to find my then boyfriend and apologize because even though what he put me through, I hurt HIM as well. I try and live life to the fullest now and make sure I'm NEVER put in that situation again and that everything is meant to be and to trust in GOD 101 percent.