I was a 15 year old teenager...


I was a 15 year old teenager who was two months pregnant with my boyfriend who i have dated for 2 years. I was so happy when i found out i was having a little baby growing inside of me. It made me realize that I can have something to look forward to in my future. The day after I found out i was pregnant, me and my boyfriend broke up because he found someone else. It was so hard telling him because I was afraid he might think I would be lying just to keep them apart. It was the hardest thing to do.

 
The first thing he did was tell his mother. My mom was in another country at the time visiting my sick grandmother. I really needed her at the time, but my parents are very strict Christians and probably would never have supported me. After his mom found out she immediately told me I had to get an abortion. No questions asked.
 
I was in so much pain and had so much anger built up that my boyfriend wouldn't step up to the plate and tell me he wanted something different. But instead he chose his mom’s side and was mean to me about the whole situation. I knew he wanted it [the baby] deep down (with his past and everything) but he couldn't come to terms with his mother so he had to pretend that he wanted it [the abortion].
 
I was so stubborn because this was MY mistake. The baby did not do anything wrong and i was taking an innocent life away. On the day of the abortion, i could not look my ex in the eye. But i could see the hurt in his eyes that he didn't want the abortion, neither did I. We both ended up crying our hearts out when the procedure was done. He finally admitted to me that he wanted it [the baby], and that his mom didn't give him a choice.
 
After that i have felt hatred towards his mother and him. But I came to realize that hate would not do me any good. It has been only 3 months since the abortion. Its hard to sleep and even worse when i see little babies in the park calling their mommy. I love my boyfriend. He is trying to help me through this. Life is hard. I wish i still had my little one inside of me...i'm trying my best to move on.