contact us contribute privacy policy

Healing Pathways

Unhealthy Behaviors

Abortion produces strong emotions that can change over time. Denying, repressing, or pushing down these emotions may work for a while, but continued refusal to face the emotions surrounding a loss such as abortion can lead to unhealthy behaviors.

Abortion represents significant loss(es) in a person’s life. More...

Identifying and acknowledging these losses is an important step toward healing. On the other hand, minimizing or denying them and the grief they produce will not only impede the healing process, but it may also lead to unhealthy behaviors.

Unhealthy behaviors that may have already been present before the abortion are likely to be continued or accelerated after the abortion.

Unhealthy behaviors may start as protective measures to either cope with or mask painful emotions or to deny grief and loss. If the behaviors are repeatedly used, they may begin to take on a compulsive life of their own with seemingly no connection to the abortion.

Unhealthy behaviors may be a daily occurrence, or they may occur periodically. Sometimes unhealthy behaviors are triggered by certain events, such as the anniversary of the abortion or the expected due date of the child.

Whether or not you think these behaviors are related to an abortion experience, extra assistance such as a 12-step program or group, spiritual assistance, or professional counseling is needed to regain your well-being. Unhealthy behaviors are listed below with accompanying resource information. 

The information listed below is intended to help with specific unhealthy behaviors, and may not be able to address your concerns and needs related to your abortion experience or the experience of a loved one.

If you feel at any time your reactions and emotions are not being validated and addressed appropriately by a resource—do not give up.  

You may wish to contact after abortion healing resources using the Find Help locater.  After abortion healing resources will often provide individual guidance, as well as group support or retreat-style workshops.

Signs of Complicated Grief

  • Anxiety
  • Dulled sense of feeling
  • Fear or avoidance of children
  • Fixating on another child
  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Rage
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Inability to recall parts of the event
If you’ve experienced any of these symptoms for more than a month, please use the Find Help locator to access local resources. These symptoms may suggest that you’re developing impacted grief, or complicated grief, or some other psychological complication. This typically feels like you’re “stuck” in your grief and unable to move forward in your life. To rule out these possibilities, consultation with a trained counselor is recommended.

While it’s important to not impose an expected time frame for healing, you also don’t want to allow yourself to remain stuck for too long, which makes it that much harder to move through the grieving process.

AbortionChangesYou.com, its creators, and all those involved are not responsible for the content of the individual resources listed for referral, nor does providing a link constitute endorsement of a resource.

Anger

National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
www.childhelp.org/get_help
Available 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, a hotline for children or for adults who are concerned about children who may be suffering abuse or neglect. Completely confidential, but be aware that if you call from a mobile (cell) phone, the call may show up on your bill. The counselors won’t know who you are unless you tell them.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
www.ndvh.org
Also available in Spanish, this hotline offers help 24 hours a day and 365 days a year to those in crisis situations. The Web site offers information about safety planning, referrals, crisis intervention, action items, teen dating abuse, and more.

Anxiety

Depression Awareness, Recognition, Treatment Helpline
1-800-421-4211

National Alliance on Mental Illness
www.nami.org
Alliance to help those suffering from mental illness, as well as their loved ones. Includes information on a variety of mental illnesses including bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, personality disorders, eating disorders, panic disorder, seasonal affective disorder, Tourette’s syndrome, and post-traumatic stress. Also offers support for loved ones, information on legislation, and resources in different states.

Panic Disorder Information Hotline
1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)

Compulsive Disorders

Mayo Clinic: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
www.mayoclinic.com/health/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/DS00189
This Web site explains OCD, helps identify signs, and leads a person to find treatment.


Cutting/Self-Abuse

Self-Injury Hotline
S.A.F.E. (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
1-800-DON’T-CUT (1-800-366-8288)
www.selfinjury.com
S.A.F.E. is a nationally recognized treatment approach, professional network, and educational resource base, which is committed to help people achieve an end to self-injurious behavior. Self-injury is known by many names, including self-abuse, self-mutilation, deliberate self-harm, and parasuicidal behavior.

Depression

Depression Awareness, Recognition, Treatment Helpline
1-800-421-4211

International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression (iFred)
www.ifred.org
Offers research and support for those suffering from depression and fighting against the stigma associated with depression.

Mayo Clinic: Depression
www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175
This Web site addresses the causes, risk factors, signs and symptoms, and treatment of depression, as well as coping skills.

National Alliance on Mental Illness
www.nami.org
Alliance to help those suffering from mental illness, as well as their loved ones. Includes information on a variety of mental illnesses including bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, personality disorders, eating disorders, panic disorder, seasonal affective disorder, Tourette’s syndrome, and post-traumatic stress. Also offers support for loved ones, information on legislation, and resources in different states.

National Depression and Manic Depression Association
1-800-82NDMDA (1-800-826-3632)
www.ndmda.org
Offers help—information, research, and recovery—for individuals and loved ones of those living with mood disorders.

Difficulty Getting Close to or Caring for Others

For Difficulty Getting Close to or Caring for Your Child/Children, Partner, Family Members/Friends

American Counseling Association
www.counseling.org
Helps you find a licensed counselor in your area. You can search by topic.

National Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling
www.counsel-search.com
This Web site offers FAQs and articles about counseling, how to choose a counselor, how to get your money’s worth, and a locator tool to help you find a marriage counselor in your area.

Eating Disorders

American Anorexia/Bulimia Association, Inc. (AABA)
212-575-6200
Offers referrals to treatment and information.

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD)
847-831-3438 (the hotline is open between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. CST, Monday through Friday)
www.anad.org
Offers referrals to treatment and information.

National Call Center for At-Risk Youth
1-800-USA-KIDS
Available 24 hours for teens.

National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA)
1-800-931-2237 (toll-free information and referral helpline)
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
For answers, information, and nationwide referrals.
Available 8:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m. PST, Monday through Friday.

National Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center
858-481-1515
www.edreferral.com
Provides information and treatment resources for all forms of eating disorders. Their goal is to provide assistance, in the form of information and resources, to those suffering from eating disorders in order to help them start on the road to recovery and healthy living.

Overeater’s Anonymous
505-891-2664
www.overeatersanonymous.org
Offers referrals to local chapters and information.

Frozen Emotions

American Counseling Association
www.counseling.org
Helps you find a licensed counselor in your area. You can search by topic.

National Directory of Marriage and Family Counseling
www.counsel-search.com
This Web site offers FAQs and articles about counseling, how to choose a counselor, how to get your money’s worth, and a locator tool to help you find a marriage counselor in your area.

Gambling and Overspending

Compulsive Gambling Center
924 East Baltimore St.
Baltimore, MD  21202
1-800-LOST-BET (1-800-567-8238)
www.lostbet.com

Debtors Anonymous
General Service Office
P.O. Box 920888
Needham, MA  02492-0009
781-453-2743
Fax: 781-453-2745
www.debtorsanonymous.org
Debtors Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other.  Their primary purpose is to stop debting one day at a time and to help other compulsive debtors to stop incurring unsecured debt.

National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG)
1-800-522-4700 (24-hour, national confidential helpline)
216 G Street NE, Suite 200
Washington, DC  20002
202-547-9204
Fax: 202-547-9206
E-mail: ncpg@ncpgambling.org
www.ncpgambling.org
The Mission of the National Council on Problem Gambling is to increase public awareness of pathological gambling, ensure the widespread availability of treatment for problem gamblers and their families, and to encourage research and programs for prevention and education.

Mood Swings

Depression Awareness, Recognition, Treatment Helpline
1-800-421-4211

National Alliance on Mental Illness
www.nami.org
Alliance to help those suffering from mental illness, as well as their loved ones. Includes information on a variety of mental illnesses including bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, personality disorders, eating disorders, panic disorder, seasonal affective disorder, Tourette’s syndrome, and post-traumatic stress. Also offers support for loved ones, information on legislation, and resources in different states.

National Depression and Manic Depression Association
1-800-82NDMDA (1-800-826-3632)
www.ndmda.org
Offers help—information, research, and recovery—for individuals and loved ones of those living with mood disorders.

Panic Disorder Information Hotline
800-64-PANIC

Overworking

Workaholics World Service Organization
P.O. Box 289
Menlo Park, CA  94026-0289
510-273-9253
E-mail: wso workaholics-anonymous.org
www.workaholics-anonymous.org
A 12-Step program for individuals who hope to stop working compulsively, it offers a 20-question test you can take to see if you might be a workaholic.

Phobia

Mayo Clinic
www.mayoclinic.com/health/phobias/DS00272
Provides help in understanding the causes, signs and symptoms, treatment options, and better coping methods for people who suffer from phobias.

Medline Plus
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus//phobias.html
Also in Spanish, this Web site offers help with identifying and managing phobias.

Risky Behaviors (Risk-Taking)

American Association of Suicidology
1-800-273-TALK  (1-800-273-8255)    
www.suicidology.org
The American Association of Suicidology is an education and resource organization.  They don’t provide direct services. However, if you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
1-888-333-AFSP (1-888-333-2377)
www.afsp.org
AFSP is the only national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those affected by suicide.

National Hopeline Network
Kristin Brooks Hope Center
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
www.hopeline.com
The Web site offers information about depression and suicide, a 24-hour hotline, a resource center, tips on preventing suicide, the newsroom, and more.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national, 24-hour, and toll-free suicide prevention service available to all those in suicidal crisis who are seeking help. Individuals seeking help will be routed to the closest possible provider of mental health and suicide prevention services.

Self-Injury Hotline
S.A.F.E. (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
1-800-DON’T-CUT (1-800-366-8288)
www.selfinjury.com
S.A.F.E. is a nationally recognized treatment approach, professional network, and educational resource base, which is committed to help people achieve an end to self-injurious behavior. Self-injury is known by many names, including self-abuse, self-mutilation, deliberate self-harm, and parasuicidal behavior.

Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-999-9999

Self-Medicating with Alcohol

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc.
1-800-344-2666 (U.S.)
1-800-443-4525 (Canada)
Provides information about Al-Anon/Alateen and referrals for local meetings. Available 8 a.m.–6 p.m. EST, Monday through Friday.

Alcohol Treatment Referral Hotline
1-800-ALCOHOL (1-800-252-6465)
Provides 24-hour help and referrals for people with concerns about alcohol or drug use.

Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
212-870-3400
Provides information about AA and worldwide referrals to local meetings. Available 8:30 a.m.–4:45 p.m. EST, Monday through Friday.

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Service (24 hours)
1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)
Can link the caller to a variety of hotlines that provide treatment referrals.

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD) Hopeline
1-800-622-2255
Will refer the caller to a local affiliate office of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence. Callers can also leave their names and addresses to receive written information about alcohol and other drug abuse. Touch-tone phone is required. Available 24 hours.

Self-Medicating with Drugs

Center for Substance Abuse Treatment National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Referral Service (24 hours)
1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)
Can link the caller to a variety of hotlines that provide treatment referrals.

Marijuana Anonymous (MA) World Services
1-800-766-6779
Provides information about MA and referrals to local meetings. Available 24 hours (voice mail).

Nar-Anon World Services
1-800-477-6291
Provides information about Nar-Anon and worldwide referrals to local meetings. Available 9 a.m.–4 p.m. PST, Monday through Thursday.

Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
818-773-9999
Provides information about NA and worldwide referrals to local meetings. Available 8 a.m.–5 p.m. PST, Monday through Friday.

National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence NCADD Hopeline
1-800-622-2255
Will refer the caller to a local affiliate office of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence. Callers can also leave their names and addresses to receive written information about alcohol and other drug abuse. Touch-tone phone is required. Available 24 hours.

National Drug Abuse Hotline
1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)

Sexual Dysfunction or Sexual Acting Out

Sexaholics Anonymous International Central Office
P.O. Box 3565
Brentwood, TN  37024
615-370-6062
866-424-8777
Fax: 1-615-370-0882
E-mail: saico@sa.org
www.sa.org

Sexual Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
1-800-477-8191 from the U.S. and Canada
+1-713-869-4902 elsewhere
For information and questions about the SAA program, help when you can’t find a meeting, or other problems. The phone is answered between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. CST, Monday through Friday. Voice mail is available at all other times.

ISO of SAA
P.O. Box 70949
Houston, TX  77270
USA
info@saa-recovery.org
www.saa-recovery.org

National Call Center for Addiction Intervention Resources
1-800-561-8158
www.addictionintervention.com
Includes resources for gambling, eating disorders, sex addiction, co-occurring addictions, alcohol and drug abuse, adolescent issues, mental health issues, and more.

Signs of Complicated Grief

Anxiety
Dulled sense of feeling
Fear or avoidance of children
Fixating on another child
Flashbacks
Nightmares
Rage
Difficulty sleeping
Difficulty concentrating
Inability to recall parts of the event


If you’ve experienced any of these symptoms for more than a month, please use the Find Help locator to access national and local resources. These symptoms may suggest that you’re developing impacted grief, or complicated grief, or some other psychological complication. This typically feels like you’re “stuck” in your grief and unable to move forward in your life. To rule out these possibilities, consultation with a trained counselor is recommended.

While it’s important to not impose an expected time frame for healing, you also don’t want to allow yourself to remain stuck for too long, which makes it that much harder to move through the grieving process.

Suicidal Thoughts

HOTLINES:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program: 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

American Association of Suicidology
1-202-237-2280
www.suicidology.org
The American Association of Suicidology is an education and resource organization.  They don’t provide direct services. However, if you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
1-888-333-AFSP (1-888-333-2377)
www.afsp.org
AFSP is the only national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research and education, and to reaching out to people with mood disorders and those affected by suicide.

National Hopeline Network
Kristin Brooks Hope Center
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
www.hopeline.com
The Web site offers information about depression and suicide, a 24-hour hotline, a resource center, tips on preventing suicide, the newsroom, and more.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national, 24-hour, and toll-free suicide prevention service available to all those in suicidal crisis who are seeking help. Individuals seeking help will be routed to the closest possible provider of mental health and suicide prevention services.

Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900

TeenLine
1-800-522-8336

Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
1-800-999-9999

Unhealthy or Abusive Relationships

Break the Cycle and The Safe Space
5200 W. Century Blvd. #300
Los Angeles, CA  90045
310-286-3366
888-988-TEEN (8336) Available from 1–4 p.m. PST, Mondays and Fridays
www.breakthecycle.org
www.thesafespace.org
Two Web sites from one organization linked together to help empower youth. The Safe Space includes help with identifying a troubled relationship, how to help a friend, developing a safety plan for your relationship, and information about your legal rights, contacting the police, getting a restraining order. It also includes ways to volunteer and what parents should know about teen dating abuse. Break the Cycle engages, educates, and empowers youth to build lives and communities free from domestic and dating violence.

National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
www.childhelp.org/get_help
Available 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, a hotline for children or for adults who are concerned about children who may be suffering abuse or neglect. Completely confidential, but be aware that if you call from a mobile (cell) phone, the call may show up on your bill. The counselors won’t know who you are unless you tell them.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
Also available in Spanish, this hotline offers help 24 hours a day and 365 days a year to those in crisis situations. The Web site offers information about safety planning, referrals, crisis intervention, action items, teen dating abuse, and more.

National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-RUNAWAY
www.1800runaway.org
Provides free transportation for those wishing to return home, as well as shelter for those for whom going home is not an option.

Violence

Break the Cycle and The Safe Space
5200 W. Century Blvd. #300
Los Angeles, CA  90045
310-286-3366
888-988-TEEN (8336) Available from 1–4 p.m. PST, Mondays and Fridays
www.breakthecycle.org
www.thesafespace.org
Two Web sites from one organization linked together to help empower youth. The Safe Space includes help with identifying a troubled relationship, how to help a friend, developing a safety plan for your relationship, and information about your legal rights, contacting the police, getting a restraining order. It also includes ways to volunteer and what parents should know about teen dating abuse. Break the Cycle engages, educates, and empowers youth to build lives and communities free from domestic and dating violence.

Coalition to End Family Violence
805-656-1111
1-800-300-2181 Bilingual
Help with domestic violence, anger management issues, sexual abuse, and so on.

National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
www.childhelp.org/get_help
Available 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, a hotline for children or for adults who are concerned about children who may be suffering abuse or neglect. Completely confidential, but be aware that if you call from a mobile (cell) phone, the call may show up on your bill. The counselors won’t know who you are unless you tell them.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
www.ndvh.org
Also available in Spanish, this hotline offers help 24 hours a day and 365 days a year to those in crisis situations. The Web site offers information about safety planning, referrals, crisis intervention, action items, teen dating abuse, and more.

National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-RUNAWAY
www.1800runaway.org
Provides free transportation for those wishing to return home, as well as shelter for those for whom going home is not an option.